Write a Better Online Personal Ad

Here are some guidelines for writing an effective personal ad:

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INVESTMENT
Decide that this is worth spending some time on, or don't bother. You wouldn't submit a sloppy resume, would you? This is about making a good first impression, because there will be no second chance once someone clicks to the next ad.

MARKETING
You are marketing yourself... trying to stand out in a crowd. Think about who you want to meet, and then think about who THEY want to meet! How can you tell them that you are the person they want to meet?

PREPARATION
Before you do anything else, do some thinking and writing. Don't wait until you are faced with a blinking cursor to write your blurb. Give serious thought to how you will describe yourself and the person you hope to find. Write at least two paragraphs, one about yourself, and one about the person you seek. Have a digital photo or two ready.

OPENING LINES
Use your username... don't be Bob3456... be slaveofYourdesires or something else that reflects something about yourself and who you are. Then start writing:  "Need Mistress in Atlanta" doesn't cut it. "Atlanta man on a mission" sounds more interesting. "Atlanta Knight seeks his Queen" tells a different story about who you are seeking. Use your username and comments to hook people into your ad. Use humor, drama, a funky metaphor. Then, like any good ad, you want to show them you are what they need, show them why you are unique, and invite them to take action... by emailing you!

DETAILS
Write in complete sentences. Spelling and grammar DO count. We have modern tools to help with that. You want to look like you find this task important enough to spell out the words. Unless you are 15 years old, writing "If u r inrested n me, wrt 2 me" makes you LOOK 15 years old. ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING... don't. It is actually harder to read.

HONESTY
If you are not honest with yourself and others, you will not find happiness here. Are you married? You know, people CAN figure that out and will resent the lie more than the wedding ring. Without making any value judgments, putting down "married" will not necessarily stop you from finding matches. If you are just looking for a casual session, don't imply that you are looking for marriage just to get more email... it wastes everyone's time. If you are looking for a long-term thing, don't think you can "convince" a casual date to spend more time with you. You are asking for disappointment.

BEYOND PHYSICAL
Have you ever really dated someone just for their eye color? OK, maybe you have spectacular eyeballs. But ads tend to reel off personal stats... and then stop there, as though they were nothing but a body. Talk about who you are first, and what you look like at the end.

AVOID NEGATIVES
Don't list what you don't want... discuss what you DO want. Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives, not obstacles. Workaholic? Try, "My career keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day adventures." Frugal to a fault? Try "I find it amusing to squeeze a nickel 'til it screams."  Worried people will regard your children as an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I hope to find someone that will enjoy the attention of a warm family circle."

POST A PHOTO
Statistics show that an ad with a photo is 80% more likely to get a response. A photo that shows you relaxed and having fun, no matter what you look like, is even better. Don't use a photo that isn't current.. it isn't worth looking so insecure, or being rejected later. Don't stress about your looks... attraction is about more than looks. Yes, we often are first attracted to someone by looks, when we meet in person. But on the Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get the chance to meet in person.  And most importantly, We don't care what your dick looks like.  If you post a picture of your dick, it WILL be deleted.

LIFE STAGES
People often say that "age" is not as important as "life stage." Where are you in your life? Just starting out in a new career? Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting? Exploring new interests? These are things that matter. Talk about what is important in your life. "I am established in my career and now turning my attention to fulfilling my desires to please and pamper my Mistress".

FAVORITE THINGS
Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying.. Choose one good example and talk about why you like it. Choose something that gives the reader an insight into what you enjoy. You want people to be able to spot things you have in common, but also feel that there is something new and interesting to learn about you. Interest them in learning more with a "teaser" about something fascinating about you.

RULES
Never... NEVER include your last name, phone number or address. Observe the rules.  Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.

So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, take the time to do a good job, and have a good photo. Those things alone will put you far ahead of the misspelled anonymous pack. Best of luck!

 

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Adapted from an article written by Tracy Brant